worshiping the porcelin god?
if you’re still sick about the financial implosion, consider using those last few credit dollars you have to buy the neorest 550 a new commode (we gotta use the fancy word for toilet here) that’ll set you back $5,000 (yes that’s five thousand bones). launched by the manufacturer toto at a fancy new york party, the features of this bowl include:
- hands free clean-up: the 550 offers a squirt of water in the rear, a squirt of water in the front, a squirt of water that pulses or a gentler stream for tough days. owners can adjust pressure and direction from the comfort of the seat. when you’re all done, you can get finished off with a blow dry.
- warm and respectful greeting: 550’s seat is heated and has a built-in night light and the lid rises when you enter the room.
- dual-speed transmission: one flush for number one, two for number two.
- ambiance: it releases special scents and sounds (marching band, light jazz, and classical) to mask what’s going on in the bathroom.
if you do buy it, it looks big enough to live in if your house gets re-possessed–i’m just sayin’.
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