sacred bird » oddities

they must have been thinking of ‘the nutcracker’

180 — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 05:55:47 +0000

thanks to a tip from my buddy and love anderson cooper, i learned about the bp’s blog from the gulf today. in every way possible, the blog’s reporters take a glass half full reporting approach. my favorite example of this was from a report filed on may 28. in the blog post titled ballet at sea reporter paula komar describes the cleanup effort using flowery language like this: “triangles, circles, v-angles: precision shapes at sea executed by shrimping vessels and choreographed by skimming perfectionists to stop any oil from potentially getting close to Alabama’s coast.”

here are a few tidbits from komar and her colleague tom seslar’s other reports:

in working together – “On Mothers Day, BP provided a rose boutonnière for each mom and a wonderful Alabama police office bought hundreds of roses and handed a single rose to every mom and lots of daughters. Though the work never stopped, there were a lot of smiling faces and a few tears, reminding everyone that this spill response is only a very small part of what’s important.”
in i saw the oil spill today – “Seeing it real-time, up close, eyes-on is, oddly, an inspiration to shake off the weariness, to look ahead, not behind, to dig in and focus with vigour on the task at hand.”
in flying higher to get closer to the oil spill – “My appreciation for the enormity of the oil industry as an economic contributor in the Gulf of Mexico climbed sharply within minutes after I hitched a ride aboard a helicopter that BP had chartered for a couple of oil hunters.”

[bp's blogs from the gulf, image street giant]

if this doesn’t work, maybe they’ll get a grammy

180 — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 00:39:59 +0000

the senators of louisiana passed a resolution proclaiming sunday, june 20 as a day of “divine intervention” to stop the oil spill in the gulf. about the resolution, stephen adley said “Thus far efforts made by mortals to try to solve the crisis have been to no avail…it is clearly time for a miracle for us.”

as i said, if this doesn’t work, maybe they’ll get a grammy, musicians in all genres of music always thank the lord for their win. stranger things have happened (like this and this), right?

[fox news]

let’s just hope he doesn’t direct it

180 — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 01:53:09 +0000

’cause if the past is a predictor of the future, it will take 15 years and will cost a trillion dollars. last week, president obama let the country know that the government would take any and all plausible solutions and suggestions to plug the oil leak that is polluting the gulf of mexico. we learned today that james ‘king of the world’ cameron is advising the feds on how to stop the leak. according to the associated press, “The “Avatar” and “Titanic” director was among a group of scientists and other experts who met Tuesday with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency and other federal agencies for a brainstorming session on stopping the massive oil leak.” because of avatar and titanic, two of the highest-grossing films ever, cameron is an “in underwater filming and remote vehicle technologies.”

[huffington post]

911 IS a joke in their town

180 — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 05:09:43 +0000

four atlanta college students were put on hold when they called 911 to report that they had been car jacked and were being taken to atm machines around town presumably to empty their bank accounts. the car jackers shoved two students into the trunk of their buick lacrosse and they managed to make a call to the 911. they were put on hold a couple of times and they finally called morehouse college police for help. the operator said that the callers seemed calm and were whispering and they were put on hold.

newsflash, they were whispering because they didn’t want the car jackers to hear them (the carjackers were said to have threatened to kill them). the students ended up calling morehouse college police who eventually rescued them. you can listen to the recorded call here.

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

180 — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 23:35:42 +0000

some lady named amanda flowers of england fell off of her nintendo wii fit and suffered nerve damage. the specific condition called persistent sexual arousal syndrome means that she has an orgasm at least 10 times a day when exposed to even the tiniest of vibrations — like a mobile phone ringing. flowers says “It began as a twinge down below, before surging through my body…Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm.” flowers says she hopes to find a boyfriend that can satisfy her resulting needs.

if you want to learn more about persistent sexual arousal syndrome, click here.

hold it!

180 — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 00:10:36 +0000

dr. jack cassell, a urologist in florida has warned patients that if they support ‘obamacare’ they can take their urinary tract problems elsewhere. he posted a sign outside of his office that reads “If you voted for Obama . . . seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your healthcare begin right now, not in four years.”

even though political affiliation is not a protected class like race, gender, sexual orienation, or disibility, bioethicists think that the good doctor is skating very close to the ethical line–”By insisting he does not ask his patients about their politics and has not turned away patients based on their votes, the doctor is “trying to hold onto the nub of his ethical obligation” says william allen, professor of bioethics, law and medical professionalism at the university of florida’s college of medicine who was interviwed by the la times.

of course, doctor cassell says he’ll treat any person that crosses the threshold but he’s not sweatin’ those that don’t. once they do enter the office, they have access to ‘research’ the doc has collected under a sign that says “This is what the morons in Washington have done to your healthcare. Take one, read it and vote out anyone who voted for it.”

tell us what you think: [polldaddy survey="2E5B5EABE15E84BB" link_text="take an sb survey"]

image courtesy of admond

having a ball

180 — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 00:30:59 +0000

a band of rogue knitters, part of the “salty knits” syndicate, are secretly outfitting knitted sweater-like sleeves on trees in the middle of the night. the knitters located in west cape may, new jersey say they do this to make their boring hobby seem a little more exciting. according to one of the rogue knitters interviewed on the condition of anonymity said “”It’s entertaining…It’s a conversation piece for the rest of the day.” many townspeople think that the sleeves are an eye sore and have removed many of the sleeves, also at night. the interviewed knitter indicated that the group has no plans to stop tree sleeving and the cops have not commented at all.

image courtesy of mikemol

maybe it’s a sign you should go kosher

180 — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 05:28:57 +0000

some chap from england named toby ellis was making a late night snack after downing a couple of beers and he fell asleep while his bacon was cooking. he woke up to find smoke in his kitchen and jesus staring back at him from the bottom of the frying pan (the burn marks had an outline of his eyes, nose, and long hair). ellis thinks this is a gift from god and will keep the dirty pan for the rest of his life “I’m not going to scrub it clean though, just in case I get struck by lightning, it’s going to take pride of place on a wall instead,” he said. “It’s become quite a talking point for people who come round to the house and I have even thought I might get a glass cabinet to put it in.”

by the way, i did a little research on whether or not jesus kept kosher, you can find the answer here (scroll down to the bottom of the page).

‘redneck loser’ wasn’t a category

180 — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 10:34:12 +0000

the transportation security administration (tsa) is like the your super-wealthy and perpetually drunk old uncle jojo at thanksgiving. as much as you try to avoid him, you have to humor him when he gets you in his sights. i woulda thought that after the failed christmas underpants bombing, the tsa would cleaned up its act but guess again. seems the exemplary employees in the florida office were keeping themselves busy with a game of redneck jeopardy. in this version, they characterized different members of the population (gays, blacks, lesbians) to plan crew assignments. “The board, resembling the TV game show ‘Jeopardy’, includes categories such as ‘pickle smokers’, ‘our gang’ and ‘creatures’, which sources said were names used by managers for gay men, African-Americans and lesbians.” the featured picture was sent to cnn. in response to the incident, the tsa says it will be investigating the incident and says it trys to guarantee fair treatment of all people, bla bla bla.

photo via cnn

lunch time brain teaser: what is this?

180 — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:17:51 +0000

if you can’t figure it out in 1 minute, you’re totally stupid.

click here for the real answer.